I was going through an old diary and found a (very!) old self portrait that I’d drawn over twenty years ago..
Back then, I’d not long left college, where I studied art. I did self portraits quite a lot (the model was always available, and worked for free 😀 ) I can’t remember exactly when I did this one.. it’s on mulberry paper, with charcoal and white chalk to highlight. I’ve been told it looks “dark” and “haunting”. I don’t remember that being something that I was trying to convey.. it could have shown through anyway…
I don’t do a lot of art these days.. at least, not visual art. In some ways, this blog is another form of self portrait – little glimpses of things that pop into my brain, or that I’m wrestling with, or that I just love to ponder. I don’t feel the need to create representations of my physical appearance anymore (although there’s an unfinished painting in a cupboard somewhere. Perhaps I’ll finish it someday.)
Back then, it was like my life was in a holding pattern – like there was something on the horizon, but “not yet”. Now, I’m living. I see who I am in the mirror every morning, and I like who I see. I may still do self portraits – there’s a lot more wrinkles and grey hairs now – that could be a challenge 😀 ..but my life now is fuller than a static image on a page.
