Held

Not sure what’s happening with winter…
Lately it’s felt like spring, and sometimes even summer. The last couple of nights have seen the return of a slight chill, though, and the duvet has made a comeback

I’ve been doing a few hours of work – I came in late, so didn’t get a lot done, but it was nice to earn a few dollars πŸ™‚
The job was, basically, making calls online to other people. Pretending to have a conversation about various topics with certain keywords, particularly geared towards an Australian accent. Over the last week I’ve opened various bank accounts, taken out loans, bought a tractor (and a farm!), stocked an organic herbal tea shop, and set up a fish farm. No wonder I’m tired! πŸ˜†

I’ve always had problems with phones. There was a time, years ago, when I yearned to be allowed to use the phone like the grown ups, but now I’m happy to text. Over the years I’ve learned basic “scripts” to cover most phone calls, but this job involved an undercurrent of low level terror each time I did a call.
I survived!

Today was meant to be a catching-up day, but plans can get a bit wonky. I roamed through various sites, and stumbled across this reminder that all is well – even when tiptoeing over the terror to get to the end of a phone conversation…

Published in: on August 19, 2021 at 8:33 pm  Leave a Comment  
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Content

I’ve had a couple of low energy/fatiguey days lately, so I’ve mostly been in bed.
Thankfully I’ve also been in the process of changing the area by my bed so I can easily reach books, pens/pencils/paper etc when I need them. There’s still more to do (I do a bit, then run out of steam) but I should have a useable workspace soon.
It still feels a bit lazy, but I came to the conclusion that it was better to get some work done in bed rather than not getting anything done while waiting to feel better…
It’s not like I haven’t done any writing or drawing while sitting up in bed before – it’s just been quite uncomfortable. I finally got myself a little lap table with a tilting top, and a new “bedside table” (a trolley with drawers from Officeworks).

Today has been another catch up day – because of events the last few months, I’m behind in some classes and seminars.
I’m enjoying the content of the two sites I’m working on, and I am content with my new space and the new things I’m learning!
πŸ™‚

Published in: on July 14, 2021 at 2:57 pm  Leave a Comment  
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Refresh (Again)

The last week has been a bit quiet – a period of adjusting, and reclaiming some routines.
Unfortunately, I’ve done something to my hip – not sure what, but it has involved creeping sideways occasionally and screeching when sitting down or standing up. It’s getting better, though – I walked a bit today, did some shopping and went out for a coffee… breathing out a prayer of thanks every time I could move painlessly!

Music always cheers me up, and sometimes reminds me of truth when I’m feeling unmoored.
Here’s some songs from an artist I like, reminding me where my hope comes from ❀

Now, the question is…
should I buy the album? πŸ€”

Published in: on June 26, 2021 at 9:38 pm  Leave a Comment  
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Tripping Over The Pots Of Gold

The last few weeks have had their challenges, and I feel like I’ve stumbled through most of the time. Some days have been a bit of a blur, some have dragged on relentlessly…colours merge and almalgamate into grey.
But sometimes – there’s a rainbow.

I’ve always enjoyed rainbows.
They’re the reward after rain, and they carry a promise.
You can sing about them, make art about them, even bake them
and in life’s greyest moments they turn up unexpectedly, to shine a bit of hope and happiness.
There may not be a real pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, but there’s always the possibility of tripping over treasure around the next corner.

Hope always rises.
Love always prevails.

Tomorrow, we say goodbye to a beautiful person.
When I think of her, I think colour, joy, dancing, and exuberant praise for her God, Whom she loved unreservedly.
Our lives may be greyer, with a sense of loss
but we will have the memories.

…and there will still be unexpected rainbows,
glimpses of gold waiting to surprise us,
and a promise to come.

Published in: on June 12, 2021 at 10:52 pm  Leave a Comment  
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Emptying The Thought Patterns

I wrote here a few days ago about being in my favourite cafe without anyone else around – it was “empty” for a good period of time.
Here’s a view towards where I was sitting.

It occurs to me now that this is obviously not an empty room – it’s just empty of people.

I was talking to my Biggest Boy this morning about unconscious bias – he’s studying screen and media, and has been learning about storytelling and scriptwriting. We discussed the fact that we all have prejudices and blind spots. We come from our own unique backgrounds and experiences, so the way we see the world will not be the way the next person sees their world. To a large extent that just creates variety… but sometimes it allows cruelty and offensiveness towards others. We just don’t see where our blind spots are obscuring another’s reality.
The cafe dining room was full – cluttered, in fact. There were many obstacles to my chosen seat (the couch at the back) but I was able to navigate there safely because I could see the chairs/tables clearly, and I have been there often enough to know my way around – I don’t really “see” those other things anymore.
What else am I not seeing? What unconscious biases am I letting slide because I don’t realise they’re there?
As Maria and Captain von Trapp (and also the Bible!) say – “Nothing comes from nothing…”

What am I unconscious of?

As it’s the weekend, and you probably need to sit down and have a cuppa, I’ll just share a couple of songs that came to my notice today.
πŸ™‚
❀

Published in: on May 8, 2021 at 5:03 pm  Leave a Comment  
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Cooling Down To Light The Fire

We’re definitely hurtling toward winter, but there are still days when I need the fan on.
It’s time to set some things in place, though, as the light dwindles… I’ve bought some bulbs (iris and jonquils) to plant. They’ll need to go in soon, or at least I think so! I have no real experience with these sorts of flowers, except for buying them, years ago, with part of my pay packet on a Friday afternoon – they were cheap and bright and cheerful, and shone through the gloom of an English winter.
I’ll harvest the sage, although it’s past it’s best. There’s quite a lot of it. I’ll freeze some in olive oil, but might also try preserving some in honey, for use in tea.

I’ve been watching seminars this week – some on a livestream from a conference associated with our church, some on a Facebook series on changing artistic mindset. I’ve already talked about the way the colder weather tends to ignite possibilities in my mind, and these various teachings have been inspiring, in different ways and for different disciplines.
Perhaps there will be wonderfully innovative creations flowing onto paper or canvas, as I sip honey sage tea!

I’ve been singing some different songs this week. The first one I’ve sung repeatedly, along with the online gathering, in the last few days. The second one I heard for the first time last night, and the last one I was introduced to this evening…

Published in: on April 29, 2021 at 11:27 pm  Leave a Comment  
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A Kindness, And A Welcoming Love

Published in: on April 4, 2021 at 8:30 am  Leave a Comment  
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Glancing Past The Shadows, Into The Light

Published in: on April 2, 2021 at 6:53 am  Leave a Comment  
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When The Water Is Too Deep

Most mornings I go down to the pool. I don’t really swim – don’t like getting my ears in the water – but I walk back and forth across the middle of the pool. Some days the water is clear, and I walk without stopping. Some days I stop to rescue various insects that have found themselves out of their depth. Occasionally it seems as though the entire insect population of our area has decided to take a dip…
Most of these rescues are for small creatures – beetles or waspy type things. Sometimes I come across a bee. And, very rarely, it’s bigger – a very large stick insect, or a dragonfly. Unfortunately, they’re often already dead, so I place them beside the pool. There are mornings, though, when I can actually save a little being, and that cheers me up for the day. I love saving bees and yesterday I scooped up a butterfly, which I thought was dead, but started fluttering cautiously once the sun dried off its wings.

Here’s a dragonfly from the other day – sadly I was too late to save it, but it’s still beautiful.

Many years ago my Babe and I were in a takeaway waiting for our chips for tea. We lived in Southampton then, and it was that fuggy type of atmosphere you get when the weather’s cold but you’re sitting in a small shop where there’s food cooking… the air was humid and there was moisture running down the windows. Just beside the door there was an insect trying frantically to get out – beating against the glass, seeing the fading light outside and wanting to be out there. We tried our best to guide it towards the door, but it kept getting away from us and back to the window.

I am so much bigger than the insects I try to help, and to them my guiding hand must seem like just another obstacle they need to avoid. It’s frustrating for me – I don’t want to see them drown – but I can understand the fear of something you can’t see or comprehend but that looks like it’s in your way when you’re just trying to survive. I manage to rescue most things (although a fair number are already dead) but a few I just have to leave. All their fearful dodging takes them too far out for me to reach.

Tomorrow is Good Friday. It might feel as though I’m trying to shoehorn a lesson in here, but both these situations remind me of the Easter story – of the times in my life when I’ve been floundering in deep waters but not quite seeing the divine hand reaching out to lift me. Thankfully, God is patient
Tomorrow, we will go to church and sing and eat hot cross buns. We will, once again, take the time to remember the love that God has for us.
And after the Easter season is over, we’ll go back to our everyday lives, where we will still frequently catch glimpses of that other kingdom…

Published in: on April 1, 2021 at 6:36 pm  Leave a Comment  
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As The World Darkens

I wasn’t planning to write today…
I’ve been catching up on some online things, which included checking out some folklore songs, and this song popped up on the YouTube side bar.

It’s getting colder here, and there’s rain this week. That’s a good thing, but it’s… still cold. It’ll get colder now, possibly fairly quickly, and I’ll bring out the snuggly blankets and socks. Right now I’m still in short sleeves and trying to decide if I’ll get too hot if I put socks on! πŸ™‚
Some landscapes are breathtaking, and make me think of heaven – I don’t know what that looks like, but I wouldn’t be surprised if some of these earthly places are echoes. I didn’t, primarily, enjoy this clip for the lyrics, although they’re good. It’s the mountains, and the majesty (I had it on full screen, and there’s a bit at 4:18 where I just said, “Wow!”). There doesn’t seem to be an English word for that indefinable longing for a place that you’ve never been to – that sad sweet feeling of nostalgia, or possibly anticipation. Other languages have words – fernweh in German, hiraeth in Welsh – that approximate the yearning. In Ecclesiastes it says that “He has set eternity in our hearts“.
Different people will probably have different sparks that set off that light of eternity. For me, one spark is majestic mountains combined with cold, rainy weather πŸ™‚

“Lord, You’re with me either way it goes.”

…and that’s the truth!

Published in: on March 17, 2021 at 3:42 pm  Leave a Comment  
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