My birthday was weeks ago now. Seems like years, in some ways… I still have a lovely bouquet of roses that I was given. They dried beautifully – even kept a bit of their colour.
Today, I am still recovering from some surgical procedures from last week that didn’t quite go the way they were planned. I’m not sure exactly what happened, but I had to be woken up, and still need to go back at some point to get things done again.
I feel almost like the roses.
Dry. Past their best. A bit more fragile than they were.
Still functioning to create beauty, though.
After I was woken up, they tried to explain some of what had happened. As far as I understand, any future anaesthetic could be dangerous for me, and I need to warn medical staff if it’s needed at a later date. Also – I still have the original issues that prompted the whole thing…
I think that all this isn’t likely to affect my daily life, but sometimes I still feel the fear of possibilities. I pray to, and trust, God to hold my life, and to do what’s best. There’s still those moments, though, when I am alone in the darkest hours, and the bottom drops out of hope and light.
Just for a second.
In the last week or so, this has been the song I’ve been listening to –
There’s always room for dancing, however high the waves.
And remembering Who I have to fall back on…
1000 Fields of Roses 