Still Here (Free)

I saw this on my YouTube recommendations – I haven’t listened to Florence + The Machine for a while. The addition of Bill Nighy just made it a must see!
Not entirely sure what it’s supposed to mean in the end. Maybe that you may not be able to get rid of anxiety, but you can learn to live with it?

I’ve never really had an anxiety disorder, but I have had panic attacks over the years. I remember the first time, when I was sure I was going to die… as I’ve gone on I’ve learned to breathe through the breathlessness, and remember that things aren’t as bad as they feel.

We’re (hopefully) coming to the end of forced inactivity through Covid and its charming longer term gifts. I got to a point a couple of weeks ago where I thought I was getting back to normal, and then fell back into respiratory issues. I’m halfway through a course of antibiotics, so I’m back on track 😀 The rest of the household has been variously ill and on their own timetable of mending, except Biggest Boy, who seems to have had no issues with surviving Covid, but has been left having to Mother Hen the rest of us and keep the household going. He has been wonderful, and I’m very proud of him, but I’m sad he’s had to worry about us all.
Going back to anxiety – I don’t know whether Covid just dampened down my reactions, but some of what was happening would have normally got me panicking. Maybe I just didn’t have the energy for it! I have barely been out of this room for nearly four weeks, and then only for necessities (and a visit to the doctor last Friday) The last couple of days have been the first time in a while that I’ve seen the possibility of ordinary life resuming.
Still a few days of antibiotics, and staying quiet for a bit longer.
Then, maybe I’ll dance on the tabletops!

Published in: on May 9, 2022 at 7:10 pm  Leave a Comment  
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Long Ago, Now

Lest We Forget

And for those often left out of the story…

Published in: on April 25, 2022 at 12:03 am  Leave a Comment  
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Soaking It In

Every day I’m getting better…there are niggles, but I can see light ahead!
I managed to get the cleaning done today. It’s not great, but I wanted to have a soak in the bath. To do that, I had to clean it first. Soaking, and reading, in a hot(tish) bath full of magnesium is one of my indulgences, and my reward for cleaning.
I’ve been reading so many books lately. I didn’t want to read library books while I was virusy, but there are plenty of books in my personal library that I haven’t read yet. Today, though, was the day to start catching up on my library books.

This is my library basket.
It’s always full.

There’ll be a few more days of reading. I’ll try to get back out into the world sometime next week…

…also – this is fun 😀

Published in: on April 23, 2022 at 9:07 pm  Leave a Comment  
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Today

Published in: on April 17, 2022 at 5:39 am  Leave a Comment  
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Hang On…

…I think I may have things the wrong way round. 😆

This is a YouTube clip I’ve watched quite a few times in the last few days.

Yes, I know it’s Easter.

I don’t really know why I watched this originally, but it makes me giggle. I posted a song for Good Friday, and there’ll be a couple more tomorrow (incidentally, the singer for those was the founder of this group 🙂 )

I’ve been navigating Covid since Tuesday night. I haven’t had much energy to be online (had to get my Babe to set up the laptop for me the other night, for something that needed to be done) My emails have been multiplying (got them sorted just now!), and I haven’t been doing anything, physically or mentally, strenuous. Just giggling at a musical tutorial on how not to make Christmas biscuits…

Maybe I’ve turned a corner today. The days before now have been spent isolated from the rest of the family. I haven’t felt like eating, and even drinking water has been difficult. I have had cups of tea and bits and pieces of food – it just takes a while. Sleeping has been upright, for breathing purposes, and most nights I’ve had the light on, alternating between reading and dozing. Today took a while to get into, but a lot of things are better 😀
I think there’s about three more days until quarantine ends.
Just off to watch YouTube…

Published in: on April 16, 2022 at 4:33 pm  Leave a Comment  
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Thoughts Above

Published in: on April 15, 2022 at 5:34 pm  Leave a Comment  
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Waking Up In Different Ways

This week seems to have flown by – is time actually speeding up or am I just getting older?
I’ve had a few bouts of feeling down, and have been finding it hard to get stuff done. It’s all a bit blah sometimes… feels hard to create something new or innovative. It’s good to remember that sometimes, rejuvenating, revamping or repurposing an already existing structure can be enough. We all put our own stamp on things. Sometimes, that creates something amazing!
I’ve been watching lots of music “reaction” videos (fun!), and have seen lots of variations on original songs.
Here are three versions of one song – all amazing renditions, all showing the personalities of the artists.

Here’s the original.

Perhaps a bit of country acapella?

Or just a romp through time.
With cellos.

Whichever one you choose (and you can even choose all of them!), I hope you wake up with a sense of purpose, and knowing how you can make your mark on your world.
❤

Published in: on April 8, 2022 at 12:16 am  Comments (2)  
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Of Dried Roses And Dancing Waves

My birthday was weeks ago now. Seems like years, in some ways… I still have a lovely bouquet of roses that I was given. They dried beautifully – even kept a bit of their colour.

Today, I am still recovering from some surgical procedures from last week that didn’t quite go the way they were planned. I’m not sure exactly what happened, but I had to be woken up, and still need to go back at some point to get things done again.

I feel almost like the roses.
Dry. Past their best. A bit more fragile than they were.
Still functioning to create beauty, though.

After I was woken up, they tried to explain some of what had happened. As far as I understand, any future anaesthetic could be dangerous for me, and I need to warn medical staff if it’s needed at a later date. Also – I still have the original issues that prompted the whole thing…
I think that all this isn’t likely to affect my daily life, but sometimes I still feel the fear of possibilities. I pray to, and trust, God to hold my life, and to do what’s best. There’s still those moments, though, when I am alone in the darkest hours, and the bottom drops out of hope and light.
Just for a second.

In the last week or so, this has been the song I’ve been listening to –

There’s always room for dancing, however high the waves.
And remembering Who I have to fall back on…


Published in: on March 21, 2022 at 8:54 pm  Comments (2)  
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A Starring Role?

…or at least a couple of seconds in one of the slightly bigger boxes (amongst all the others!) 😆
Here’s the latest Couch Choir clip – an original song by Astrid Jorgensen.

Enjoy!
😀

Published in: on March 7, 2022 at 10:16 pm  Leave a Comment  
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Waiting In The Sun

Sun’s out.
The torrential rain has finished for the time being, at least round our way. We’re still waiting to see what will happen later in the week.
Our house was fine – we had to dig some trenches and redirect water, but that was more a drainage problem than a flooding issue. There’s a sort of a lull at the moment. There are still roads flooded in town, making essential shopping a bit harder. Supplies in the shops were running low over the weekend, and restocking might be a problem. We’re fine. There are many who aren’t, so we’re waiting to see what’s needed once the waters recede enough to be able to do something. We’re not much good these days for heavy lifting, but we can do meals/groceries, and we still have a bed and sofa for anyone needing them. 🙂

Last week I sent in my part for the latest Couch Choir. Not sure when it will all be put together, but here’s a Pub Choir clip (pre-Covid!) that seems to be appropriate. It’s probably been appropriate for at least the last three years or so!

It might seem like cold comfort to someone surveying the wreckage of everything they own, and of course there are long term effects that will need to be addressed. But we can all still pitch in as a community.
One of the good things I’ve found over the last few years (at least for me) is a sense of connection to places and people I would never have met or seen otherwise. It feels almost like we could go anywhere and see anyone we wanted to pre-Covid, but had got into the habit of not connecting. Perhaps we didn’t feel the need for community quite so much, and so were careless about it building and maintaining it…
I hope that in our future we can remember to maintain the nourishing things, and continue to keep away from the unhelpful things.

Speaking of futures – here’s a possible one!
Who knows? 😆

Published in: on March 1, 2022 at 12:50 pm  Leave a Comment  
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