I’ve had a couple of low energy/fatiguey days lately, so I’ve mostly been in bed. Thankfully I’ve also been in the process of changing the area by my bed so I can easily reach books, pens/pencils/paper etc when I need them. There’s still more to do (I do a bit, then run out of steam) but I should have a useable workspace soon. It still feels a bit lazy, but I came to the conclusion that it was better to get some work done in bed rather than not getting anything done while waiting to feel better… It’s not like I haven’t done any writing or drawing while sitting up in bed before – it’s just been quite uncomfortable. I finally got myself a little lap table with a tilting top, and a new “bedside table” (a trolley with drawers from Officeworks).
Today has been another catch up day – because of events the last few months, I’m behind in some classes and seminars. I’m enjoying the content of the twosites I’m working on, and I am content with my new space and the new things I’m learning! 🙂
Today has been a busy day. Due to various circumstances, I spent part of the morning picking up groceries that we hadn’t had time or opportunity to get to before. For me this means buses and walking, which was quite nice this morning, in the fog. I started off early, having breakfast in my favourite cafe – I was the only one there for a time 🙂 It was like sitting in my own lounge/dining room, except with more chairs…
Off on the bus to Market Organics after that, then wandering back to town – bits of shopping, library, then the bus home. Everybody seemed chatty today – people I knew, people I didn’t… there’s always time for kindness, whether given or received.
I finally got the bulbs in the ground the other day, where they will sleep their winter sleep and hopefully emerge in spring, looking like this (but less cardboard-y)
The sage is now safely gathered in – past its best, but quite abundant. I’d previously frozen the basil in olive oil, and yesterday chopped half the sage into olive oil to freeze as well. The rest of the sage went into honey to steep for a few weeks, when it will be ready for sore throats and medicinal tea.
Tired now, but happy! I think tomorrow will be a quiet day at home…
I’ve been having a good run of things lately. Going down to the pool in the mornings, doing bits and pieces around the house… starting to feel like I might get back to “normal”. That’s until last night – pains that I haven’t had for a while, keeping me awake, and then in bed most of the day. I’VE GOT THINGS TO DO!!! 😆
I’m not entirely sure why – lugging stacks of large, heavy books around yesterday may have something to do with it. I struggled with the “shoulds” today, then eventually realised it would be a day of resting, not doing much… small movements and small joys where I can find them!
I didn’t get to do the laundry, or finish organising my bookcases. I did do a bit of photography – little vignettes of my small things dotted about to make the place bright. 🙂
Little vases, with little bouquets…
A brightly coloured insect I fished out of the pool the other day
…and a single frangipani with a yellow-tinged feather!
I’ve been reading. Mostly cosy mystery type books – they’re easy, quick, and helpful for those days when you just can’t muster up the energy for too much… Which brings me to the book I’m reading at the moment.
It’s an interesting read. The author is writing from the perspective of a WOMI (Woman with a Mysterious Illness) and her long fight to find out what’s going on and what to do about it. I haven’t finished reading it, so I don’t know yet how that turns out… She comes from a family of doctors, and has great respect for doctors as a whole, but there’s the acknowledgement that mainstream medicine has no protocol for the myriad of “mysterious illnesses” that are suffered mostly by women, and therefore tends to dismiss any mysterious symptoms as psychological or just “women’s stuff”. I was recently diagnosed with fibromyalgia, although I’m not sure what that actually means in my case – I’ve been dismissed from the hospital clinic that gave the diagnosis as they can’t do anything for me. Whether the medical establishment mean it or not (and in my experience over the years, some definitely do mean it, and verbalise it freely) these types of symptoms/diagnoses come with a mental eye roll and a sense that you’re just whining and need to sort yourself out. In the bit I was reading today there was a list of common symptoms found in WOMIs, some of which I hadn’t realised could be linked to the others.
I can check off 50 from that list. Thankfully they generally don’t appear together, and not necessarily severely – some more than others. There never seems to be a time when I’m not experiencing some combination. Some days are really bad, some are bearable – and I think over the last year or so I’ve learnt how to ignore some things enough to function. I’m certainly not in as dire a state as some people I know, and I am grateful for how well I can function. But sometimes, I get tired… And it’s very discouraging, when you’ve had stacks of tests and you still feel generally horrible, to be told that – good news! – there’s nothing wrong with you! Yay? 😥
The book discusses nutrition and alternative medicine, and sees it as a positive thing. I know that watching what I eat and keeping up with vitamins/herbs etc helps me quite a lot. These can be restricted by cost and sometimes the difficulty in using them (if something requires preparation and it’s a bad day, it’s not going to happen). I would recommend finding a good practitioner. But also realising that there’s no magic pill/herb/concoction. Sometimes, it’s just a balancing act.
I’ll have to finish reading to find out how it ends…
So it’s October (already!?) and once again breast cancer awareness month. There are a lot of ads about, and the mobile screening buses are at a couple of shopping centres near here. Everything’s pink… I don’t really go for the “buy pink for breast cancer” thing – I don’t trust that all that merchandise is raising money for charity, and if it is, what does that money/charity do with it? Much better to give directly to somewhere that you know is legitimate! Whether you buy pink stuff or not isn’t really important – what is important is that you go for regular breast screening, especially as you get older. I don’t like getting lots of tests just for the sake of it, but some things need to be done (this includes bowel and prostate checks). Don’t wait until you have symptoms! Yesterday I went for my mammogram. I hadn’t realised it had been two years since the last one, but they rang me to book me in as their systems showed I was overdue… I understand that it can seem a bit daunting if you’ve never done it before, but the whole process doesn’t take long, and it’s done sympathetically and professionally. Sat next to a pink-lighted flowering tree while I waited… it cast interesting shadows.
I always try to schedule in a coffee/cake time, and some time shopping or otherwise enjoying myself for afterwards. 🙂 Just a short break makes a difference! I had my coffee and cheesecake at a cafe I don’t frequent much, since the one I generally go to at the big shopping centre here seems to have closed… still was a nice time out, and included my serendipitous heart.
I had to catch my bus fairly soon after, but still had time to pick up some little pots, which I will fill with succulents.
😀
So – all done for another couple of years!
Just to stay with the theme… here’s P!nk. Let’s get this party started!
At least it seemed like it at the time. Yesterday I was in for an endoscopy, a procedure I have done every couple of years or so. It requires fasting from food and drink for a period of time, so this was a feast by the time I got to see it. Everything went smoothly – the procedure itself apparently takes about ten minutes, but there’s the waiting around and the prep and recovery time. For some reason, in the last year or so, I’ve had trouble having blood taken/drips put in. My veins seem to hide or disappear, and even when they get a line in the blood doesn’t always come out… the anaesthetist had trouble yesterday and had to use an ultrasound machine to find a vein. She got the line in but it only drew blood sporadically, so she had to use the other arm, and eventually put it into my hand. I find that very painful, but you have to go with what works… Apparently as you age your veins can get a bit “valve-y” (obviously a medical term) and the valves resist the needle. At least it worked in the end, and the sedation went quickly.
I can’t remember how many endoscopies I’ve had, but I know they’ve changed a lot since my first one. The first time I don’t remember as much talking, although the procedure was explained to me. This time I had a good old chat with the nurse, the anaesthetist, the orderly who wheeled me in, and a little bit with the doctor. This was mostly about procedures and any fears I might have, but also about our families and whatever else. These days I believe the sedatives are a lot lighter – just enough to keep you under. My first time I had to be wheeled in to recovery on the bed and then come to at some point. I don’t remember a lot of that, as I was unconscious. Eventually I was able to get off the bed onto a chair, then try to eat something. This time (and last time) I woke up in the procedure room, walked to the recovery area, and had my gourmet meal straight away. I hate the process of going under sedation, and always feel a bit panicky at that point. It’s quick, though, so I don’t have time for too much panic! There’s also the memories of earlier times, when I would feel a bit sick and scarily disorientated after. It would also take three or more days to get over the sedatives. Thankfully it’s different now! I was having a lovely dream when I woke up. Something about books, but I can’t remember what… I still feel groggy today (I feel like I’ve been in a fight…), and will probably take it easy, but it’s a lot different to earlier times. I still have to have a “responsible adult” around for 24 hours after the procedure, so if you want me to sign anything or operate heavy machinery, you’ll have to wait 😀
That was a lot more writing than I thought I was going to do! Long story short, hospital procedures don’t need to be scary, at least the planned ones – I’ve not had emergency surgery before, so I can’t speak to that. I do know that whatever I’ve had done lately, I’ve come across competent, professional people who know what they need to do but also understand that we might be a bit worried and need reassurance.
I also have another source of comfort…I knew on Monday that I might be a bit out of it yesterday, so I did my Bible readings for both days. Here’s my verse for yesterday –
“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” – Isaiah 41:10
😀
What other procedures yesterday? More like “procedurals”, and murder mysteries. Since I knew I wasn’t going to be good for much in the way of deep thinking, I decided to just read and sleep yesterday. I went with the classics (Ngaio Marsh, Agatha Christie, P.D.James) Also – zinnias! ❤ They’re Mambo Pink, and are bright enough for this greyish day.
Given the uncertain health environment and regulations lately, we’ve augmented our fashion range with some cool masks!
They’re made by a woman in our suburb, and we got one each for our family (Babe and I each have an extra as well). Here’s a selection –
The butterflies are mine, the TARDIS print is for Sweet Bean.
My Babe, and Biggest Boy, have a black with white polka dot one and a grey small print one, respectively… you know, for formal occasions…
We’re still figuring out the best fit – might need a few adjustments, especially since most of us wear glasses. I’ve found I have to take my glasses off to read close up, since I can’t just look under them anymore! They feel a bit claustrophobic at the moment, and feel like they’re slipping a bit when I talk, but that’s probably the fit at present and will be better with adjustment.
Why did we buy them?
No, we’re not sheep, driven to mindless obedience under a draconian government.
No, we’re not terrified and scrabbling for anything to feel some measure of safety.
No, we’re not trying to look superior to everyone else (an actual accusation levelled at my Babe at the shops yesterday).
I’m not actually too bothered by the possibility of catching COVID19 – not because it’s nothing to worry about, but because our risk is very low. It’s not, however, non-existent. Even without that possibility, there’s all sorts of viruses hanging about in this season. I’ve not had flu (as in actual influenza) for over 20 years, and we don’t tend to get colds. Sniffles, maybe. And I tend to have a bit of a cough when it’s cold, especially in the mornings. At the moment that can single you out as a possible plague carrier when in public…
There are countries where it’s common, and considered courteous, to wear a mask in public during cold and flu season. People seem to understand that the mask wearer is doing so for the benefit of others, rather than their own protection (although that’s also a benefit to some extent). It’s hygienic, considerate of others and can be stylish! Here people do tend to look at you as though you’re stupid, or deluded. Why do some consider wearing a mask as an affront to them? A piece of material on my face isn’t a threat to anyone…I’ll be having a chat with my boys about not reacting if they’re challenged by strangers.
I’ve considered the question of masks in other years during flu season. Given that I tend to cough, I’ve thought about it before…not that I’m necessarily contagious (and generally I’m not – it’s more irritation), but – I could be. There’s something to be said for thinking about other people’s peace of mind when I’m coughing away in the supermarket…
At this time my odds of passing on COVID19 are low to almost non-existent. But not completely non-existent. And I know too many vulnerable people.
This is a new world, in a lot of ways. It may be the new norm, or it may be a passing thing, but for the moment – I’ll wear butterflies!
He asked me, “Son of man, can these bones live?”
I said, “Sovereign Lord, you alone know.”
– Ezekiel 37:3
“Yahweh, you are my soul’s celebration.
How could I ever forget the miracles of kindness
you’ve done for me?
You kissed my heart with forgiveness, in spite of all I’ve done.
You’ve healed me inside and out from every disease.
You’ve rescued me from hell and saved my life.
You’ve crowned me with love and mercy.
You satisfy my every desire with good things.
You’ve supercharged my life so that I soar again
like a flying eagle in the sky!”
– Psalm 103:2-5
In this time of coronavirus fear and “social distancing“, we are renegotiating contact with others… the basic handshake is avoided, and other greetings put in its place. For our church, as for other places of worship, that means using the Vulcan salute.
A good choice, I think!
Quite apart from the geek factor, the hand gesture is derived from a Jewish symbol, used during a priestly blessing. Leonard Nimoy (Spock in the original Star Trek) remembered seeing it as part of a service in the synagogue in his childhood, and when faced with coming up with a Vulcan greeting, modified what he had seen.
Tomorrow we’ll be telling each other to “Live long, and prosper”, to which the proper response is “Peace and long life”.
And we’ll be extending a blessing to each other as we do it!
I’ve been reading again!
A quote from the book caught my eye and made me think…
Turning the story around –
“Government/corporations/the wealthy/the political parties are too strongweak. There is nothing anyonethey can do to change themthemselves, and if there is going to be change, they have to initiate itwe have to help them, so all of our individual efforts are irrelevantcrucial.”
What do I think about this?
In a week that has brought about injustices and tragedies, seen and unseen, it’s easy to feel like giving up on everything as hopeless and unchangeable, and seeing ourselves as powerless. And, truly, sometimes we are in situations where the outcome bulldozes us down… a failure of society to engage and protect the individual? A long timeline of little adjustments and concessions leading to a tunnel we didn’t know we were heading for? A bit of both? I don’t know.
Governments and the societies that elect them need to change in a lot of ways, but that starts with an individual. It starts with each of us.
I’m feeling like I’m getting preachy – I don’t want that 🙂
Getting back to the quote!
How do I change myself, and influence the world around me? I haven’t finished the book yet, so not sure what that answer will be! One obvious thing is to look squarely at who I am…
What do I believe? Why? Am I willing to question things, in order to more clearly understand?
I come from a Christian understanding of the world. In a lot of ways (globally) that can be seen to be unyielding, rigid, unwilling to look at other points of view… I don’t agree that that’s the way to see things. An unchallenged faith is a weak faith – if God is real (as I believe He is) then He is big enough and strong enough to walk with us through the questions and disappointments. Also, deep enough to encompass differences of opinion!
So – am I willing to confront myself when I am triggered or made uncomfortable by events/circumstances/points of view? Am I willing to Change My Mind?! On that note, I find it interesting to read books by people who have completely different understandings of the world to me. It can be amazing to see where we agree!
I have not a lot to offer, in the big scheme of things. I have some influence in some spheres… but nothing major. I am quiet, not very energetic, often not well. I often feel useless. But I am still not lacking in responsibility to know who I should be and my place in this community…
One thing I can do?
I can welcome whoever needs or wants friendship. I can holdouthope where it’s needed – there are endless cups of tea here, and spare beds/sofas are available! I can brighten someone’s day, even if it’s only in a small way.
And I can guarantee that, whoever you are reading this, YOU are important. You are significant. You are meant to be here, and you have a part to play in this world. Even if it doesn’t feel like it right this second.
❤
a bit of creativity, a bit of eco consciousness, a bit of inspiration.... hopefully not a lot of pompousness and blathering :D
i'm not entirely sure what's going on here... let's travel along and see...
